愛

Is it bad to dream about someone else after hours of crying? Just because you don’t want to...

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 21:59:50 -0400

Is it bad to dream about someone else after hours of crying? Just because you don’t want to think about the one causing you so much pain. I dream of Cali. I dream what would of happened in October last year if we actually met up. Would I be in San Francisco with you right now? Sometimes I dream…I dream of going to cali finally seeing you eye to eye…what if it’s all fake I wonder.
I was crying so much on the phone because of my bf. him yelling and screaming and belittling my feelings for him was so hard. It’s 10pm feels like I been crying since 6pm. I’m so drained. Why must someone that says they love me make me suffer so much. I feel like walking away sometimes and just be alone and dream.

So they’re giving my bf another chance to re take the marine test until January. I honestly...

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 18:07:11 -0400

So they’re giving my bf another chance to re take the marine test until January. I honestly can not deal with this anymore. I just cant deal with all the crap I had to go threw with him long hours at the library being dissed. Him always talking about with his friends Ph if I get in fuck everything I’ll just leave attitude. I honestly can not do this with you anymore. I almost lost my mind cuz of this. I don’t know if I can do this.

Really wish I had ppl to hang out so I wouldn’t feel so shitty. Even if it was just one person...

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 19:53:14 -0400

Really wish I had ppl to hang out so I wouldn’t feel so shitty. Even if it was just one person that was a best friend. I wouldn’t feel sad. Unlike my bf with his 100 friends probably wouldn’t even miss me if I went on a trip =_=.

Being attached to someone is the worse. You worry about them too much. You want to see them so bad...

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 19:43:02 -0400

Being attached to someone is the worse. You worry about them too much. You want to see them so bad all the time. You get scared they might leave oneday and they’re already a part of you. I hate these feelings.

Starting to get all emotional about my bf. I hate when I get like this. I hate that I cant go one...

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 19:27:16 -0400

Starting to get all emotional about my bf. I hate when I get like this. I hate that I cant go one weekend without him. I’m already getting upset about it.

I just got home few moments ago from hanging out with my bf. I’m going to miss him so much...

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 12:22:50 -0400

I just got home few moments ago from hanging out with my bf. I’m going to miss him so much when he leaves Wednesday to Vegas for Edc til Tuesday. Uggggh I trust him I know he won’t do anything dumb I’m just going to miss him too much. Blah stupid feelings.

I don’t have any dramatic life changing goals. I wish I did something I’m going to be...

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 07:30:40 -0400

I don’t have any dramatic life changing goals. I wish I did something I’m going to be thinking about. I need to go back to school. Do I want to be a x ray tech do I want to deal with patients my job seriously makes me cry sometimes =_= what to do my 26th bday is almost here what have I done with my life.

My bf is not getting into the marines. Yet I feel sad about it. I hate seeing him like this. I just...

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 07:22:32 -0400

My bf is not getting into the marines. Yet I feel sad about it. I hate seeing him like this. I just want him to be happy. I know I complained a lot about him leaving but in the back of my mind I know I can handle it and i can wait for him as long as he’s happy.

et-l: sometimes when i get really sad and really angry i don’t really know how to handle my...

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 07:14:35 -0400

et-l:

sometimes when i get really sad and really angry i don’t really know how to handle my emotions like an adult. i go from wanting to just scream everything i’m feeling while throwing things to disappearing somewhere forever just so i don’t really have to deal with some of the things i feel. sometimes it alarms me and i wonder what’s wrong with me.

Going to stop thinking bout others. Everyone is like why don’t you make the effort. I always...

Wed, 12 Jun 2013 19:07:26 -0400

Going to stop thinking bout others. Everyone is like why don’t you make the effort. I always do though. It sucks I have to text my family or someone I know first to hangout. I’m just going to let it go it’s making me upset. Just need to get my life together.

Jealous. I wish ppl would make dates with Me to have lunch or something. If I don’t do it no...

Wed, 12 Jun 2013 12:13:53 -0400

Jealous. I wish ppl would make dates with Me to have lunch or something. If I don’t do it no one would talk to me.

Makes me feel shitty. Makes me wonder why ppl dont like me =_=;;

I really hate when I get like this because I know guys aren’t like this or you aren’t. I...

Mon, 10 Jun 2013 05:43:00 -0400

I really hate when I get like this because I know guys aren’t like this or you aren’t. I hate after spending so much time with you over the weekend it goes way too fast and when Monday comes I cant sleep I’m tossing and turning wishing you were laying next to me. I wake up feeling so sad and guys probably don’t care like that. Whatever I’ll see her next weekend. But I miss you terribly everyday. I don’t know how I’m going to deal when you leave for Vegas from Wednesday til Tuesday. I feel like I’m just going to sleep all day so time passes by quicker. Blah.

So in my emo state I texted someone I used to be close friends with. I was like I wish we were still...

Thu, 06 Jun 2013 10:38:15 -0400

So in my emo state I texted someone I used to be close friends with. I was like I wish we were still talking. Then he replys with some fucked up bull shit “give me a reason why we should be friends again and I’ll think about it”

wait what?!?!

You got to be fucking kidding me..oh I’ll think about being friends with you again if you give a me a good reason why

Man fuck you hoe never texting you again and I’m deleting your number what a cunt. Fuck trying to be friends with ppl always fuck you over.

I get so jealous when I see online or on the street siblings acting all close and cute or family...

Thu, 06 Jun 2013 05:32:23 -0400

I get so jealous when I see online or on the street siblings acting all close and cute or family members being united caring towards each other. Sure it’s probably not like that all the time. But it just makes me think. I wish I had a relationship like that with my family members. we don’t even hug each other. I cant even remember the last time I hugged my brothers or sisters or even my parents. Especially my dad. I don’t think I’ve hugged my dad since I was a toddler. Sad isn’t it?

Just wish we were closer.

Sometimes I wonder how you are cali. I always randomly text you hoping you would reply but I never...

Wed, 05 Jun 2013 21:41:06 -0400

Sometimes I wonder how you are cali. I always randomly text you hoping you would reply but I never hear back from you. I emailed you several times. No reply. Last time I heard from you was October. When we were suppose to meet up in new York.

You know seven years. I’m over it someone else has my heart. But I still wonder how you are. Are you happy are you feeling better. Last time you texted me you told me you were so sick and I was worried never heard back. I Hope you’re okay. I Hope you’re happy. This is the longest we ever stopped talking almost a year.

Just Hope you’re okay nothing more.

I’m pretty self fish that’s just how I am. When if comes to money idgaf It doesn’t...

Wed, 05 Jun 2013 17:41:14 -0400

I’m pretty self fish that’s just how I am. When if comes to money idgaf It doesn’t mean anything. But when it comes to ppl I really care about I will jump into a fight and,defend them. I’m just self fish. I’m sorry I don’t want you to leave I know you will be miserable if you don’t get selected.

My bf got a barely passing score. He said his recruiter didn’t seem to enthusiastic about it. Since the decision is now up to the sargeant. One of their main concerns is his age. They would rather pick younger guys so it’s a big ass competition to get in with all the younger applicants. Sigh. I feel like a shitty gf.

I hate the fact when I get upset about something like really upset I cant function. I cant eat. I...

Wed, 05 Jun 2013 11:10:31 -0400

I hate the fact when I get upset about something like really upset I cant function. I cant eat. I cant sleep. I cant workout. I just lay in bed numb like a vegetable. I just lay there.

My insides hurt. I’m trying to be strong if he tells me he passed I will probably have a...

Wed, 05 Jun 2013 10:44:37 -0400

My insides hurt. I’m trying to be strong if he tells me he passed I will probably have a extremely awful breakdown. My eyes are already swelling up. I don’t know how I can handle this.

I downloaded a app my fitness. I realized I have been eating way tooooo Lil. I’m suppose eat...

Wed, 05 Jun 2013 06:42:16 -0400

I downloaded a app my fitness. I realized I have been eating way tooooo Lil. I’m suppose eat 1200 calories a day and including exercise I only consume like 700 calories per day omfg. That’s way too low. I always thought I was eating way too much everyday but apparently not. Geesus. No wonder I feel like shit sometimes. Painful stomach pains. Food is just so expensive I don’t even eat much for breakfast :X. Sigh need to make some changes I really want to gain muscle.

The dreaded Wednesday is here. The day I been avoiding all year but June just slapped me across the...

Wed, 05 Jun 2013 05:09:38 -0400

The dreaded Wednesday is here. The day I been avoiding all year but June just slapped me across the face and it’s here. Today I will know if my bf joins the marines. I couldn’t sleep well last night. But whatever happens it happens for a reason. I wish he would of just passed his cop tests id rather him be a cop and be close by then so far away blergh.